Or, at the very least, a license renewal?
I don’t claim to be in the know when it involves things that happen in the ‘hood, or, what people claim is the ‘hood. Despite growing up in Chicago (and NO! Do NOT call my city Chiraq. That is a horrible moniker and movie, and they both need to go away ASAP), I was able to distance myself from the more negative aspects of living there. Also, like all major cities, those issues are geographical, meaning only certain areas were specific for them. To be fair, Chicago was known for crime long before the drug trade made it’s way into minority neighborhoods in the late 70’s and 80’s.
I think people forgot about Capone and continually corrupt politicians. Anyhoo…
Now, don’t get me wrong. I knew about the different gang cultures, and was familiar with what areas were known drug hubs. This wasn’t knowledge that I actively sought: it was a basic survival method and hard-knock education that stems from being a minority. My adolescence was spent in an area called Humboldt Park – a neighborhood reviled for its gangs and cultural tensions 20 years ago. Today, it’s a bustling hub known for hipsters, non-existent parking, and expensive real estate.
Gotta love gentrification!
Getting back to the subject at hand, I realize that I am a bit removed from the linguistics of my peers, and I’m directly responsible. One half of it is because a lot of that mess is juvenile and stupid, and the other half is because I’m 40, and I refuse to sound like I’m freshly 20.
Case in point: My brother was recently visiting, and he got into an argument with his girlfriend regarding some weird game children play. You see, I was talking to my niece on Facebook Messenger via video phone, and one of her kids came onscreen yelling “WHO IS YOU?”
Right off the bat, my spine went rigid.
First and foremost, what? Why are you talking like that? Aren’t you in the 4th grade?
Second, why does it matter who I am? I wasn’t speaking to you.
Third, I don’t play cutesy games with kids. As a child, I was taught to respect your elders, so that behavior needs to be nipped in the bud.
A little while later, I hear my brother make this statement: “She doesn’t understand that that’s a game kids play because she doesn’t talk like that”.
We’ll gloss over the glaring problems of neglectful parenting, relaxed to the point of comatose educational processes, the coddling of idiots and the general acceptance of mediocrity to go back to the initial issue… Am I so removed from pop culture that I don’t “get it”?
Doubtful.
I don’t have to “get it”, because, like all fads (and scandals), they will fall into the infinite abyss where they belong. I simply have to wait for the next wave of craziness to wash up on the shore, cancelling out what’s currently hot. I’ll continue in my ignorance of most things popular, because, hey, it has always been uncool when adults try to sound and act like kids, or buy into what kids think is cool.
Wouldn’t want my kid to be embarrassed of dear old mom, or me make a fool of myself. My licensing is both solid and up-to-date – no need for a renewal.
Someone has to maintain a standard.
Happy reading!
Liz K
Note: I’ll get back to a regular schedule after life stops kicking me in the ass. I don’t like neglecting my muse.
Classy With An E 