At least, in mine…
So I, like most people, dream of dating/marrying/sleeping with famous people. It doesn’t happen all that often since I’m older, as those are the frivolous pinings of youth when you think you know what you want, but you have NO clue.
Once you really get into dating and adulting, some of us realize the fantasy is for those characters, not for people who portray them. We keep the ideal, though, because, DUH.
Anyhoo…I got here by eating one too many chocolate mini-doughnuts and passing out immediately after.
No, I’m not ashamed to admit that. Yes, I will do it again. No, it wasn’t the first time.
I don’t know what it is about CMDs, but after eating them, the dreams are very vivid and I can always recall many of the details easily. I recently had one where two of my favorite cousins were after me because they were running a “bunny ranch” and I came for a visit and started empowering the women. They told me I was messing up their money, and were actively seeking to do me harm! I had to call my aunt about that one, because the cousins were HER sons. We got a good laugh out of it.
Now, on to the tea…
So, this actor (of whom I won’t be revealing) is pretty popular. He’s younger than I am (there’s the lust part, because I’m not into entertaining younger men at all ), gorgeous and fit, and seemingly a really sweet guy outside of Hollywood (meaning no scandals because he values his privacy and has standards).
He was a complete gentleman. All the while I kept waiting for the “magic” to happen, but it never did. We went running (definitely dreaming because I don’t run…ever. I can dance, otherwise, I’m entirely clumsy), we had conversations and hung out, and he even gave me a scalp massage (which I need in reality because my newly twisted locs are paining me). Other than that, if it hadn’t been for the way we addressed each other, I’d have thought we were just roommates.
Here’s something I realized about this dream, and about myself.
Other than some really good friends, I’m not used to having non-physical intimate relationships with men if we cohabit. Now, I haven’t lived with many guys (because, why would I?), and I believe that platonic friends of opposite genders can and should share living spaces.
What I was expecting from this guy…never happened. He didn’t try ANYTHING. I’ve never experienced that with a cohabbing partner in reality. It was, odd in a way, to be attracted to someone that strongly who wanted to take care of me outside of the bedroom. I’m usually the caregiver in relationships.
It felt better than good to be on the receiving end of that level of care. Even if it was only in a dream.
The takeaway here was that I’ve got to get what I give, because I don’t have the expectation that my lovers will be as kind and thoughtful of my needs as I am to theirs. And that’s NOT okay. The whole experience had me wondering why I’ve allowed this to be the norm. Dreams really are wishes the heart makes.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get married or if I’ll just have flings for the rest of my life. I prefer the former because it provides safety and security, not to mention the knowing of another person. The latter, while seeming fun, is a dance that gets old really fast. Also, who wants to constantly be vetting new lovers all time? The only upswing about that is they wouldn’t get ingrained into my day to day, or have to meet my son.
Hm. The latter has merit – if I had the time or inclination to make the effort, which I don’t.
Thanks, Dreamy McDreamerson. I’m hoping we never meet in person, because I’m probably going to shoot my shot. Hopefully I won’t be a quivering mass of idiocy when (or if) I do.
Happy reading!
Liz K
Classy With An E 